Trish’s Pants-Shittingly Rad Recap: Bills vs. Packers

Hello Ladies, Gentlemen, and Non-Binary folks. Yesterday the Buffalo Bills lost apparently, at least according to Twitter. I, unfortunately, did not watch the game because I value sleep and my job, which pays me to buy Bills shit. Anyway, my day has been chaotic (but not in a good way) and I simply have not had time to watch the game replay or even highlights. I am not even sure what the final score was.

So, this week, I am giving you a game recap based purely on what I’ve seen on socials and my own imagination.

1.) The Bills defence sucked

This one was surprising to me. With the exception of Josh Allen, the best part of the Bills this season has been the defence. But not yesterday, there needs to be a whole reshuffle on that side of the ball because it was just an unacceptable performance.

2.) Matt Milano stays sexy

Milano, from what I understand, had an INT? That beautiful man can do no wrong. He was the only highlight of the Bills defensive stance last night. The man surely needs to be inducted into the Hall of Fame already based off of this game alone.

3.) Josh Allen is regressing

Not what you want to see from the MVP front runner. Sugar high Allen is making a reappearance and let me tell you, I am not for it. He’s better than this and has proven it on more than one occasion.

4.) My love for Tyler Bass has reached the far corners of the universe

I will say that waking up at 5:30 am sucks ass. But you all made it so much better with all the Bass pics you sent me from inside the Ralph ❤️.

I fell even more in love and even got myself a new wallpaper showing plenty of that bASS 😉.

5.) Bills run game, *sigh*

This Buffalo Bills ground game needs a complete reshuffle. The absolutely horrendous scenes from the backfield are causing devastation across the offence. Ken Dorsey needs to buck up and create an actual scheme so the Bills can actually run the ball effectively.

I expected more from you, Accountant Ken.

6.) McDermott needs to be fired

Does more need to be said? Seriously, what has this tool done in the last few years to even deserve a modicum of credit? He’s ruining this team and the franchise as a whole. Allen’s best years dare being wasted on this talentless asshole.

For shame.

Final

The Bills lost, obviously. The worst performance for this team since the early 2000s. The bye week came far too early 😔.

Featured Image: Trish Patel