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Trish’s Pants-Shittingly Rad Recap: Bills vs. Steelers

Published

6 months ago

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How ‘bout them Buffalo Bills!?

What an absolutely electric game back in Orchard Park. Just a beat down for the Steelers. For a second there, I actually felt a little bad. Only a split second though, and then James Cook stormed his way into the end zone and I didn’t care again.

1.) I was told this would be a trap game?

You all need to have more faith in these Bills. The amount of tweets, messages, posts, emails, bat signals, etc. I saw about this being a trap game were insane. Don’t ever bet against the Bills, they are playing at an elite level right now.

Keep. The. Faith.

2.) #Allen4MVP

Remember all those times people ragged on Josh Allen about his lack of accuracy? Each game this season, he’s proven us and the media wrong. But this game? Good grief. He took every criticism to heart and just unleashed. It was so sexy. Almost too sexy for national television. I mean, kids were watching.

If Allen doesn’t win MVP this season, then I’m gonna burn it all to the ground.

3.) Extend Davis before we can’t afford him!!

Gibby Davis has been absent these past couple weeks with an injury. But now he’s back, and he came back with a bang. Two monster TD receptions??? I mean sheesh. I know we want him to stunt on them hoes but did he have to stunt on them that hard?

The catch was *chefs kiss*, but the YAC? The Buffalo Bills have been notorious for their lack of WR YAC, but those days are seemingly over. I loved every second of it.

4.) Bills Rookies – HAVE A DAY!!

The rookies understood the assignment and went off. Cook had some fancy footwork and danced his way into the end zone for his first career touchdown.

Khalil Shakir showed off his slot ability with 75 receiving yards and first career TD, which he then subsequently threw away like a plonker. Luckily, Allen was there to set him right.

Kaiir Elam had his first INT. Terrel Bernard showed off some. Just an unbelievable day for the rookies. The future is bright in Buffalo.

5.) The Buffalo Bills defence is the definition of “next man up”.

Key starters missing? Who cares. Certainly not the Bills. On the defensive side, that Bills secondary stepped up with no starting DBs, except Taron Johnson. But they did it. The Steelers had no “big” plays. Nothing that sent the Bills into a tizzy and forced them to recuperate. None of that. The Buffalo secondary did what they were supposed to do. And, considering it was their second, and in a couple of cases third, string secondary? I’m ecstatic.

Tyrel Dodson, stand up! With Tremaine Edmunds down, Dodson saw his time to shine and boy did he. He even came away with a sack. Beautiful.

6.) We all love Dawson Knox, but do we have a little competition in the works?

Quintin Morris knew the assignment and it was so pretty. Sure that fumble was unfortunate, but whew! With him and Knox in the lineup, Allen has yet another reliable receiver. I’m sure Accountant Ken will find a way to bring him back. The Bills love to rotate, why not extend that to TE too?

7.) A Buffalo Bills run game? In this economy!?

Accountant Ken, my love, what in the holy hell?? I thought the Bills didn’t have a run game but look at what he did! The Bills were effective on the ground. I’ll say it again for those in the back:

THE BUFFALO BILLS WERE EFFECTIVE ON THE GROUND!!!

It’s just unheard of. Man, opposing defences are going to have a hard time containing these Bills.

Honourable Mentions

1. The Bills Defense: They held the Steelers to just a FG; three points in the first quarter. Then, pitched a shutout in the last three quarters. They’re dangerous.

2. Tyler Bass is Sexy.

3. Offensive Line: Allen had loads of time in the pocket. He wasn’t pressured to make throws or forced to run out. Spectacular job

4. Bills Run Defense: They held Najee Harris to just 20 rushing yards on 11 carries 🤯🤯🤯.

5. Carson Wentz: He shit the bed, as per usual.

6. Tyler Bass is sexy.

7. Sean McDermott now has the highest win percentage in Buffalo Bills history. Love you 😘.

8. #abandonthepunt: I absolutely loved that the Bills sent out Martin in the fourth quarter just so he got some reps in and the entire stadium booed. God, I love this team.

9. And, finally, Tyler Bass is sexy.

Featured Image: Trish Patel

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Much like Marty McFly, Trish Patel (aka Tyler Bass Enthusiast) is a time traveller who stole a sports almanac so as to fool you mortals into believing that she can predict the stats of a game. If you come at her on social media, there is an excellent chance you'll get burnt. They don't call her @savage_trish for nothing.