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Trish’s Pants-Shittingly Rad Game Recap: Bills vs. Dolphins



This week was… something. A loss is always upsetting, especially when we all know this should easily have been a win. But I’m feeling optimistic. I mean, Bobby Hart is back after his suspension! All is well in Bills world.

This game had more downsides than positives, unfortunately. And I’m going to do my best, as a Homer, to only focus on the good, because I’m like that 🤷‍♀️.

1.) As long as we have Josh Allen, anything is possible

Every week I say this, and I will continue to say it. Josh Allen is a damn god. He has matured so much in this game, it honestly shocks me each and every week. If he doesn’t win MVP, you can sure as hell bet there will be riots.

Despite how the Bills played overall, Allen was consistent. Sure, there were a couple mistakes made here or there but he played lights out. Completing 42 of 63 pass attempts for a whopping 400 yards and two touchdowns. Not to mention his 47 yards on the ground. I’m in awe.

In the highest, squeakiest voice I can muster:

“I love you Josh Allen!!”

2.) The Bills defence is legit

“But Trish, we lost the game.”

“We had a secondary filled with backups.”

Blah, blah, blah. Miss me with all of that. Backups or not, this defensive side limited Miami to just 212 yards of total offensive. That’s a gigantic win to me. An offensive with Tyreek Hill AND Jaylen Waddle!?

Hill has terrorised the Bills for years and, this time, Frazier was ready for him, like I told you all he would be. Hill wasn’t a factor, just like Henry wasn’t last week, so everything went Waddle’s way.

Their run game mustered just 41 yards. I mean, this is a defence that is EFFICIENT. If the offense plays like they did the first couple weeks, there is no stopping the Bills going forward.

3.) We miss Mitch Morse… and the OL

We took Morse for granted. He’s been pretty solid for Allen the past couple years and it was obvious this week. Having consistency on the offensive line is paramount. A lot of the offensive struggles can be attributed to this, because that Miami defensive line was TOUGH.

I can admit that. They played real well, a fully healthy and strong Bills OL would have been a good matchup against them. But one that was injured and depleted stood no chance. But, they’ll be back, especially once the OL gets to actually play in the positions they’re meant to.

4.) LOOKING FOR ANY SPARE EXTREMITIES: Please donate to Highmark Stadium (CC: Buffalo Bills)

So, I wasn’t even going to mention this because of how obvious it was. But good lord, the Bills were just collecting injuries like they were passing “Go” in Monopoly. I like to think they’re just tired and need a break after playing so heartily the first couple games. But wow.

At least they’re getting it all out of the way early… right?

5.) Accountant Ken is my hero

We all saw the video. We all loved it. Except a few idiots. (Looking at you irrelevant dude who yells unnecessarily aggressively on TV whilst waving a sceptre.)

But let me tell you, this was amazing. I didn’t want Mr. Accountant to simply pack up and walk away. Show me the fire, the anger, THE PASSION. He was pissed at the outcome and let everyone know. As he should. He knows the offence didn’t play as well as they can. He knows he fucked up somewhere. I loved it.

This just means the Ravens are, unfortunately, in the line of fire. Ken is coming back stronger than ever, he’s going to need a cart to carry his balls in the coming weeks.

Accountant Ken is out for blood.

Buffalo Bills Honourable Mentions

1. Passing to a FB? In this economy!? What has this world come to?? Reggie Gilliam is becoming a key player in the offense. On the one hand, I love it for him. On the other hand, Fullbacks 🤢.

2. I see or hear any Tyler Bass slander and God himself will not hold me responsible for what I do to you.

3. The Buffalo Bills punted once. I don’t like punts (duh). But to punt only once after nine drives is good enough for me.

4. Referees suck. Obviously, we’re all pissed about the non calls on the Dolphins, but they sucked all game long for both sides. Just disgusting, sort it out NFL.

Featured Image: Trish Patel

Much like Marty McFly, Trish Patel (aka Tyler Bass Enthusiast) is a time traveller who stole a sports almanac so as to fool you mortals into believing that she can predict the stats of a game. If you come at her on social media, there is an excellent chance you'll get burnt. They don't call her @savage_trish for nothing.