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Trish’s Pants-Shittingly Rad Game Recap: Bills-Rams

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In a very hot, sunny Los Angeles, the Buffalo Bills kicked off the much-anticipated 2022 NFL Season. And. They. Dominated. They had a handful of questionable plays, but this Bills team truly showed us, and the rest of the league, just how much of a problem they are going to be.

Let’s break it down…

1.) Josh Allen Is THAT Guy

Josh Allen did not at all miss a step since *that* playoff game in Arrowhead stadium. But, this game, he was something else. He was completely on fire, he completed 26 of 31 pass attempts for 297 passing yards with 56 rushing yards and four total touchdowns. He made the Rams defence look silly. They had absolutely no idea where to go, and in the instances that they stuffed out his receivers? He just took off, like the creature that he is.

Even more so, Allen has shown tremendous growth. Now, in his fifth season, Allen is looking like a seasoned vet. He’s reading defences like a damn preschool book. He knows that Donald is facing him down. In seasons past, Allen may have panicked and thrown a questionable pass down the field. Not anymore. Allen was getting the ball out in seconds, dumping it off to a RB or slot when anyone was in his face. Every play he made, I was in awe. I never once thought, “ah, Allen what is you doing buddy?” I’m in love.

He has started off his MVP campaign in absolute style.

2.) Von Miller and that Buffalo Bills Defensive Line

When the new first broke of Miller’s signing, I think all of Bills Mafia was in shock. No one expected it, then the numbers came out and I was a little apprehensive. He’s kinda old. But this first game has shown me how very wrong I was with this assessment, despite the haircut.

Miller got two sacks and four tackles. Already impressive against his former team, in his 11th season. But that’s not why I love the signing. He is a role model on the field. Every single defensive linesman on the Buffalo Bills has shown they all have a lil Von in them. They’re all on fire, and showing the same aggressiveness that Von has. I mean seven sacks!? SEVEN. Wild. He was the missing piece on defence. When Tre gets back, they’re going to be unstoppable.

3.) Jamison Crowder filling that Beasley shaped hole

The slot receiver role has been a question mark since Cole Beasley left and the Bills brought in Crowder and Khalil Shakir and even tested out Isaiah McKenzie. We saw the latter guys ball out in preseason, but – due to injury – we missed on Crowder. And this game shows that we truly missed a lot. All that chatter when he was signed turned out to be 100% true.

Catching three of his four targets for 28 yards, Crowder was just lights out. Just when I thought Allen had nowhere to go, Crowder was right there. A light blooper in the second quarter from him and then just a stellar performance. And I thought Stefon Diggs and Gabe Davis had amazing games as well.

Just yet another trustworthy target for Allen.

4.) Did the Buffalo Bills offensive line… actually play well?

Now, the Allen factor has to be addressed first. Obviously, with a QB like him, the OL is more an extra layer rather than a true necessity. They managed to do the impossible, by keeping Aaron Donald at bay. The longer the game went on, the less of a factor the best player in the league became. After that sack on the second drive of the game, Donald was pretty non-existent. Truly remarkable work.

More importantly, the OL gave Allen exactly what he needed, just enough space and time to be the dynamic QB that he is. They stopped him from even being touched in the second half. Just two sacks against a team with the likes of Bobby Wagner and Donald? I can’t wait to see what else they do.

5.) I told you about Tremaine Edmunds

If he carries on playing the way he is, I don’t see any reason why he shouldn’t get that bag. Edmunds has always been a vital part of this defence, but with the way the defensive line is playing, it’s so much easier for him to be the linebacker he can be. I cannot wait to see the rest of his season. He’s gonna be lit.

From ESPN

6.) Bills Mafia did indeed show out

Even on my TV I could hear the impact of the Bills Mafia in SoFi stadium. You guys were LOUD. I loved it when they panned to the crowd and there was an even split of Bills to Rams jerseys. Keep showing up like that all season. This team deserves it. And we, as fans, love to see it.

7.) #abdandonthepunt… we love Ken Dorsey

Dorsey called a hell of a game. Everything was on point. I loved every play, every passs, THE RUN GAME!?!?!? Shoutout #Singledaddy with 48 yards. A lot less than the 65 I predicted, but he was massively utilised.

But the absolute best thing that Dorsey did? Only one 4th down situation, where Tyler Bass was trotted out onto the field. The Buffalo Bills did everything needed to do in three downs or less. We love not seeing punts.

Final

I predicted the Buffalo Bills wouldn’t make it easy for the Rams, with the home teams pulling away with a win in the final quarter. That first half seemingly proved my point, and then the Bills did as the Bills do and absolutely went off. They were unstoppable in the second half and looked in mid-season form. I’m gonna have to adjust my season expectations…

Featured Image: Trish Patel

Much like Marty McFly, Trish Patel (aka Tyler Bass Enthusiast) is a time traveller who stole a sports almanac so as to fool you mortals into believing that she can predict the stats of a game. If you come at her on social media, there is an excellent chance you'll get burnt. They don't call her @savage_trish for nothing.

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