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Trish’s Chaotic Predictions: Bills vs. Jets



The Buffalo Bills play at 6pm UK time, so I finally get to watch live Bills football for the first time in two weeks AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!! I even bought a giant bottle of Frank’s Red Hot Sauce so I can make wings. (But obviously no blue cheese because it is an abomination.)


Anyways, here’s this week’s predictions losers ⬇️.

1.) Zach Wilson regrets his decision to play in the NFL

I actually like Wilson and think he could be a fairly decent QB in this league if he actually concentrated on his game instead of hunting MILFs. However, that is not the case 😔.

So, it’s up to the Bills defensive line to carry the young man out of the stadium and away from the game that takes him away from his “game”. They’ll do that by sacking him 88 times. Lol, not really. Maybe like 3, I guess.

2.) Jumpin’ Josh Allen makes a reappearance

We don’t usually get to see Jumpin’ Josh twice in one season, but Sauce Gardner talks a bit too much. Only Allen can get the young star to temper his expectations just a bit.

Rory is gonna have his work cut out for him on Victory Monday.

3.) Ny Ny makes an explosive Bills debut

I’m remaining optimistic and assume Nyheim Hines plays on Sunday, so make sure you pick him up fantasy managers.

One thing all highlights have shown of this guy is his ability to cut and weave. So is it really that far fetched to think he’ll return a punt to the house? Of course not, because “if he dies, he dies.”

4.) Accountant Ken gets CHAOTIC

This psychotic maniac has all the offensive pieces he needs now. The elite QB. The elite WR core. The almost (but not quite) elite TE. And now, finally, the very nearly elite backfield – not including Gilliam because #FullbacksDoNotMatter.

Kenny D is about dial up some FUN for the Bills offense. And the Chaos in me is getting excited. Almost too excited. I just cannot wait.

5.) Case Keenum FTW

We’ll see Keenum under centre for the Bills in the the fourth quarter because why the F not? Allen was disappointed with his performance against the Packers and, honestly, so was I. So he’s set to prove everyone wrong this week.

After scoring his 4+ TDs in three quarters, Allen will sit the last 15 minutes of game time and Keenum will add a TD of his own in relief.

6.) Sam Martin can suck it

No punts. The Bills are better than that.


Buffalo Bills win. There are no trap games this season. Yes, the Jets are a decent team and if this was last season’s Bills, then I would be a little less confident. But not now.

Go Bills!

Featured Image: Trish Patel

Much like Marty McFly, Trish Patel (aka Tyler Bass Enthusiast) is a time traveller who stole a sports almanac so as to fool you mortals into believing that she can predict the stats of a game. If you come at her on social media, there is an excellent chance you'll get burnt. They don't call her @savage_trish for nothing.