Trish’s Chaotic Predictions: Bills vs. Patriots

The Buffalo Bills suck! Like seriously, they’re awful and are definitely frauds. I don’t care what the record shows. We go from an MVP-calibre QB to a guy who makes Carson Wentz look competent, a defence which hates being healthy, and an offence that drops balls like it’s New Year’s Eve. The ONLY bright spot is Tyler Bass, but he can’t always save this team. I have little to no faith in the team heading to Foxborough. So let’s see those predictions:

1.) Josh Allen shows us who he really is.

I have lost faith in Alien Man 😔. There is no accuracy, no flourish, no skill in his throws. Has the injury dampened his prowess? Or are we simply getting the Josh Allen that he was always meant to be?

A bitter end to a promising career. Just a shame because we all had faith he would take the Bills to the promised land. Instead, we get a poor performance of 100 yards and no touchdowns. Sad times.

2.) Accountant Ken? More like can Ken even count, amirite?

Seriously, I get it’s the dude’s first year, but how can you be THIS bad at play calling? I expected more from this psychopath. But, instead of creating chaos, he’s just caused a minor inconvenience. It’s shameful really.

This week, Kenny D will do absolutely nothing. Maybe a nice run play here or there, but for the most part the Bills will be lacklustre once again 🙄.

3.) Speaking of running, the Bills D are allergic to defending them

I had much higher expectations from the team that used to be the NFL’s number one defence. It has been a bitter disappointment in the past few weeks and the troubles will likely continue with Miller (potentially) sidelined for the next couple of weeks.

Despite Damien Harris being injured and likely ruled out, the Bills D will struggle with the Patriots backfield depth. They will allow a very embarrassing 200+ yards on the ground. Disgusting. No wonder the defence is always tired 🙄.

4.) I hate punting

Punting is the worst part of the game. A stupid play. Useless. Invented by the devil. And, given how bad the Buffalo Bills offence has been playing, I will have to suffer through at least four such plays.

I have nothing against Sam Martin personally, but I have EVERYTHING against what he chooses to be. They should just fake it when in their own half. Otherwise, give it to the #NFLsSwaggiestKicker to at least put three points on the board. Ridiculous.

5.) #BobbyHartSZN

I said it a few weeks ago and people laughed. I was mocked, ridiculed, yelled at. People threw stuff at me on the streets. It was an awful time to be alive. But now, you can all suck it. Because Bobby Hart has officially become the best offensive linesman on the Bills.

Come Friday morning, we will all be singing his praises for creating holes for the running backs to get through. He will be the only positive on the Bills offence. Despite all the criticism he faced when the Bills brought him back, Bobby Hart is Buffalo’s unsung hero 🫡.

Final

It’s time to face the music and just accept the fact that the Bills suck. Badly suck. Like they’re almost as bad as Carson Wentz… It’s awful. Accept the fact that the East runs through Miami and we, once again, lose to the Patriots because such is life.

Make plans for February. Go to a hot climate. I promise you, you’ll find that much more entertaining than staying in wintery-cold Buffalo and mourning the season because there is no chance in hell the Bills are going further than Week 18 this year.

It’s over.

Featured Image: Trish Patel