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Trish’s Chaotic Predictions: Bills vs. Dolphins



So, this “winning by big margins” thing is pretty fun. The Buffalo Bills should do this kind of thing more often. It’s much more entertaining than leaving it to like, 13 seconds. After that blowout, Bills Mafia is feeling confident, and they should. This is what a Super Bowl-winning team looks like. And it is so exciting.

Onto the next one…

The Miami Dolphins host the Bills on Sunday. And, after their fourth quarter comeback, the fans and media all have Miami amongst the top ten in their power rankings, some even have them in the top five(!?). Now, I’m not enough of a hater to say the Dolphins aren’t a good team. But all this after just one quarter of good football is a little presumptuous, no? Fear not, the Bills will put them in their place 😉.

1.) Christian Benford Foils Tyreek Hill’s Plans

I know, I know, the injury report makes the Bills secondary look paper thin. But Frazier is a genius and knows how to constantly rotate guys, so it’s very much a next man up situation for the Bills. In short, I’m not worried.

Even more so, I think Benford has the edge over Hill. All of Bills Mafia was worried about Peasant Henry last week, and it showed that the Bills were even more worried about him because they planned for him. So much so that he was a non-factor to the team. It, therefore, stands to reason that the Bills have a plan for Hill too. One that includes a very capable and quick Christian Benford.

I, for one, cannot wait to watch Benford limit Hill to just 60 receiving yards. Yes, 60. Ambitious? Sure. But Tua can’t (and won’t) make tight window passes and Benford has to ability to be all over Hill. The biggest thing the Bills can do is make Hill a non-factor, just like Henry. Then, only Jaylen Waddle is left, and he can be easier to cover.

2.) Ken Dorsey Gives it the Ol’ Razzle Dazzle

One thing I loved about the Bills two years ago was the trick plays. They liked to have some good old fashioned, chaotic fun. With the way the Bills are playing and the confidence they’re playing with, Accountant Ken will let out his inner Regina George and be a straight up bitch with a play or two.

Maybe we’ll see Statue of Liberty, but this time it won’t be called back. Some fake punts would be ideal for me. A tasty fleaflicker to Allen? I’d love to see the Buffalo Bills trigger Chiefs Kingdom and “throw in” a shovel pass. (I hate myself.) Whatever it is, it’ll be fun.

3.) Gabe Davis Comes Back in Style

Davis missed the blowout win over the Titans last week, which was devastating to us all. But surprisingly, wasn’t a huge loss either. Allen targeted eleven men on that field, the only guys left that weren’t targeted were the linemen.

But Diggs took all them tuddies for himself, selfish really if you ask me. If Allen was just handing them out like that, the nice thing to do would be to let Bass have one. Instead the Fullback got one!? Anyways, Davis wants those back, so expect at least two touchdowns out of him in Miami.

4.) Tua Eats It

That Bills D-Line really got a lot of pressure on Ryan Tannehill, but only managed to sack him twice. I’m sure after this, Miller and the rest of that line is HUNGRY. It’s a good thing they’re being served fish. I’m guessing they’ll have at least three helpings.

Poor Tua.

What does the almanac say about the winner?

The Buffalo Bills win. I don’t see any way in which they lose. They have a better defence, a better offensive, and a much, much better special teams. I really do love Tyler Bass.

Bills 42 Dolphins 16

Featured Image: Trish Patel

Much like Marty McFly, Trish Patel (aka Tyler Bass Enthusiast) is a time traveller who stole a sports almanac so as to fool you mortals into believing that she can predict the stats of a game. If you come at her on social media, there is an excellent chance you'll get burnt. They don't call her @savage_trish for nothing.