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Trish’s Chaotic Predictions: Bills vs. Browns

Published

4 months ago

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So, because the No Fun League moved this week’s Buffalo Bills game to Detroit, I had to COMPLETELY change my predictions because they were based on a snow game. I’m still incredibly upset that the game moved. Stupid NFL.

Anyways, here’s my predictions:

1.) Josh Allen Returns

Allen has been noticeably absent from games these past three weeks. Well, the talented Josh Allen anyway. It’s not fun to see your MVP-calibre QB just shit the bed like he has been doing. I mean, he had the mums worried!

It’s probably just the yips, but this literal change of scenery will help. Allen will get back to his 300+ passing yard, 4 TD self. And like 50 on the ground. He’ll be back.

2.) Buffalo will not even consider a dome.

The dome lovers have been out in full effect since the announcement last night and it’s getting a little annoying. No one wants a dome. There’s no chaos in that. Dumbasses.

3.) The Bills secondary shapes up

The Buffalo Bills secondary really, really struggled last week. I don’t completely blame them because they’re backups and rookies and were on the field far too long because the offence did basically nothing.

But this week they’ll be better. And not just because they’re facing Brissett, but because Frazier is good at his job and I KNOW McDermott tore those guys a new one. So watch them limit Brissett to less than 200 passing yards and just one passing TD.

4.) Hines will take on a bigger role

The Buffalo Bills are thin at WR, so it just makes sense to have Hines incorporated in the game plan more. At least I hope so.

He will have one receiving TD and a return TD. Just for fun.

5.) Trish will actually make it through the game this time

Last week, I couldn’t bare to watch the game to its conclusion. I just put the volume up and sat in my bedroom so I could hear it but not see it. I just didn’t want too.

But this week, no matter how the game is going, I will sit and watch the entire thing. I swear.

6.) Bobby Hart will be Buffalo’s star of the game

Come Monday, we’ll all be wanting Bobby Hart jerseys.

Final

Bills win. At this point, losing isn’t even an option. Bills gotta get their mojo back.

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Much like Marty McFly, Trish Patel (aka Tyler Bass Enthusiast) is a time traveller who stole a sports almanac so as to fool you mortals into believing that she can predict the stats of a game. If you come at her on social media, there is an excellent chance you'll get burnt. They don't call her @savage_trish for nothing.