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The Underhill Report: Outrageous Predictions – Bye Week Edition

Four and one. Not many of the most optimistic Bills fans saw that coming, but here we are. After grinding out a tough 14-7 victory over the Titans where Buffalo saw a plethora of injuries, the Bills have two weeks to get healthy. Looks like the bye week timed out just right.



Even without Buffalo football on Sunday, that doesn’t stop the Outrageous Predictions column. Without further ado, let’s roll!

Josh Allen will look like the best quarterback of the 2018 draft class

Even during the week Allen isn’t playing, he will look like the smartest 1st round QB selection of 2018. Baker Mayfield and Lamar Jackson will each continue their downward trend as we head into the middle stretch of the season. If you had told me this past offseason that Josh Allen is better than Baker Mayfield, I would’ve said you were crazy. Baker had the magic his rookie year. He most certainly looked like ‘that guy’, the dude the Browns hoped they were getting with the No. 1 overall pick.

This year he has been anything but. Mayfield is fresh off his worst career performance, going 8/22 with 100 yards and two picks against San Francisco. Say what you will about Josh Allen, but he’s never been THAT bad.

And turning to Lamar Jackson, after a hot start to the year, he’s fallen back to Earth. The former Heisman trophy winner tossed one touchdown to three interceptions in Baltimore’s overtime victory over Pittsburgh last Sunday. The Ravens passing attack isn’t as formidable as it looked in the beginning of the season.

Baker will have his back against the wall versus an impressive Seahawks team, while Jackson will surprise everyone by struggling against the lowly Bengals.

Allen: stock up.

Lamar and Baker: stock down.

Sean McDermott takes 2 week siesta knowing he only needs one morning to game plan for Dolphins

Image result for sean mcdermott vacation

Squish the fish, we say. We don’t say grab the fish, inject lethal poison into the fish, strangle the fish, dissect the fish, and leave the fish carcass out for the dogs to finish off. That’s exactly what will happen to the NFL’s embarrassment of an organization, even when McDermott takes a two week vacation to rejuvenate his body with process.

I wouldn’t doubt the Bills could’ve taken their flight out of Tennessee directly to Miami and beaten the Dolphins right then and there, fresh off of 60 minutes of football.

I mean, come on guys. Brian Flores treats his Dolphins worse than SeaWorld.

Without football on Sunday, Buffalo’s pent up excitement will result in riots, break-ins, chaos

What happens when America’s most starved city for a contending football team starts 4-1? A lot of excitement and euphoria, right? So yeah, I think the Buffalo chief of police would be all set as long as Bills Mafia had a game to attend to this Sunday. But without a game, we’re not going to know what to do with ourselves. Where do we direct all of this excitement?

Well, the sane members of our society are going to find a healthy outlet. But as we all know, Bills Mafia has more than enough crazies (we love you though).

Just keep a watchful eye, Buffalo law enforcement. Something’s bound to happen.

Fake tough guy Taylor Lewan unable to resurrect NFL career after being buried by Bills Mafia on Twitter

The Tennessee offensive tackle had a rough Sunday afternoon in his return from a four game suspension. Buffalo applied pressure with their front four early and often, and Lewan gave up multiple sacks as well as two penalties on the day. But don’t take it from me, take it from Jordan Phillips and Shaq Lawson:

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Appreciate you @Shaq_Lawson90 for beating @TaylorLewan77 inside so I could get my sack

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Still was whooping your ass all game

Dude for real googled Shaq Lawson stats after getting destroyed all game long. I’m shaking my head man. His twitter comeback game is so weak.

But here’s my favorite part. Less than twelve hours after he fires off the Shaq Lawson stats, he backtracks with this:

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Went toe to toe with Bills Mafia today and they went complete savage mode on me for a backup. #Respect

Weird how he now wants to show respect to Bills Mafia for roasting him in his mentions. I don’t know man, seems like a fake tough guy to me.

Someone replied to that tweet with the perfect meme:

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Not a good week to be Taylor Lewan. And I believe his misfortune will continue. Bills Mafia is now under his skin. He’s shaken to the core. Tennessee, find a new left tackle. Lewan is done.

The Peterman Zay Jones connection in Oakland will be electric

Coming off the heels of the Zay Jones trade news, I’ve seen this take on social media a couple times, so I credit you wonderful people for the inspiration.

Alright, so there are a couple of hurdles to overcome for this prediction to come to fruition. Peterman is on Oakland’s injured reserve right now, so let’s hope for next season. All Nate has to do in 2020 is leap DeShone Kizer, Mike Glennon, and Derek Carr on the depth chart. Seems reasonable, right?

And by that time let’s hope Zay hasn’t under-performed enough to part ways with the Raiders. Once they get on the field together, though, the chemistry will be unbeatable. Remember this?

In some alternate reality, Antonio Brown and Stefon Diggs are balling out for the Bills.

It can’t just be a coincidence that the Bills seemingly had two star wide receivers acquired via the twitter rumor mill. There must be some semblance of truth to it. That’s where the theory of a multiverse comes in. Hey… stay with me… it’s a theory OK. In another universe, Buffalo has in fact acquired both wide receivers. Who knows how well they are doing together for the Bills? Do Antonio Brown’s sexual assault allegations transfer over to that universe too? What about his entire intolerable personality? Your guess is as good as mine. Willing to discuss alternate realities and multiverse theories anytime.

Bye week confidence index: a non-applicable amount of broken folding tables (we don’t play this week silly)

Student at Hofstra University. Big fan of all things Bills and Ultimate frisbee. Follow me on twitter if you wish... @cincodemaxo