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The Underhill Report: Outrageous Buffalo Bills vs. San Francisco 49ers Predictions



Things are starting to get down to the wire. Only five weeks separate the Buffalo Bills from a likely second consecutive playoff berth in back-to-back years. It’s my favorite time of the year. If you’re like me or my dad, you fire up the ESPN Playoff Machine and spend an unhealthy amount of your day plugging in different scenarios.

It feels even more special this year, as the Bills are about to hit an awesome stretch of primetime match-ups with lots at stake in the AFC playoff picture. First up, the San Francisco 49ers on Monday Night Football in… Arizona?

Without further ado, let’s get to my outrageous predictions for week thirteen:

Gabriel Davis does another Randy Moss impersonation

Oh, Gabriel, that catch over the poor helpless Chargers defensive back was just ruthless. Josh Allen did a little Aaron Rodgers hard-count free play, delivered a bomb down the left sideline, and the rookie out of UCF answered the prayer with an incredible snag. Is it too early to say that Davis is the next Randy Moss? I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. I won’t declare it yet… just to be safe. Buffalo Fanatics might have a thing or two to say to me if I did.

Josh Allen and Zach Moss receive a couple more “unsportsmanlike swagger” calls

Bills QB Watch on Twitter: "Josh Allen standing tall in pocket, eyes  downfield, fires bullet up middle of field, leading a (covered) WR, hitting  him in stride, yards after catch, touchdown. Bills

Josh Allen didn’t choose the thug life; the thug life chose him. I hear the forecast in Arizona Monday night calls for a high chance of drip. So much precipitation, in fact, slippery surfaces will appear when attempting to tackle Buffalo Bills in the open field.

The penalties will be unfortunate, but it’s the sacrifice you make for total studs at the QB and RB positions.

AJ Klein eats another big ol’ bowl of hardware supplies for breakfast Monday morning and gets busy at the office again

The secret’s out on AJ Klein’s dramatic improvement in Buffalo’s scheme. It’s not tackling practice or good coaching or better gap integrity. He simply started fueling up that big boy body with tough-guy stuff. I’m talking three-inch nails, drill bits, scotch, TV remote batteries, a spritz of gasoline, and one viagra. Now all the guy does is ball out.

Plus, if Klein’s smart (unlikely… he smashes his head for a living), he can market his tough-guy concoction on 3 a.m. infomercials when he retires. He’ll make out with riches.

Maxwell Underhill (twitter: @cincodemaxo) is a contributor for BuffaloFanatics, blog writer for the in-season “Outrageous Predictions” column, and co-host of the “Bills Overdue” vidcast streaming every Saturday at 6pm ET on Facebook, YouTube, and Periscope.