It’s the Final Four. Will Patrick Mahomes play? Can Buffalo’s defense repeat its incredible divisional round performance against Baltimore? How will Kansas City stop the “Air-Raid” Bills and Josh Allen? Will Buffalo return to the Super Bowl for the first time in 27 years?
So many questions that so many pundits pretend they have the answers too. When in reality, they all get their answers from my weekly Underhill Report published only on thebuffalofanatics.com.
So I’ll skip the BS and get right to the meat of the article. Here are my outrageous conference championship weekend predictions:
Fully-concussed Patrick Mahomes plays out of his mind and has the world asking, “Do athletes even need brains?”
The world was shocked to see superstar Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes taken out of action last Sunday vs. Cleveland after an apparent hit to the head by a Browns defender.
But arguably more shocking was his instant reaction to get up off the ground with the same not-fully-developed motor skills as a ten-year old Nick Wright. Mahomes did the classic “I’m good! I’m good! I promise I’m sober guys!” you see a lot of at Bills tailgates.
Just like drunken Mafia members, Mahomes had to be saved from himself. And thankfully he was before he had the chance to shotgun another FourLoko and jump back on the field.
If there is one thing I’ve learned this week, it’s that everyone I follow on Bills Twitter is now a neurosurgeon. I couldn’t be more thankful for @GaryGoBillsLabatt69’s newfound expertise on the brain’s reaction to impactful collisions. I had no idea the Mafia is booming with so many medical professionals.
And who am I to go against @StanBuffWings420’s astute medical analysis in the Facebook comment section that the “body and brain crave contact” and that “Mahomes will be good to go Sunday.”
Regardless of how Mahomes is feeling, you just know Roger Goodell and the NFL big wigs will do anything and everything to soothe Patrick’s hurt noggin in time for the AFC Championship game. Goodell’s monitoring the situation in the bushes outside the Mahomes’ household, squinting through the tiniest pair of binoculars he can find.
Five dollars says he knocks on Patrick’s door with a bag of ice from the gas station in hand so he can personally ice Mahomes’ head.
Guys, I swear I’m all for player safety, but I’ll just point out… if the NFL had its way, and it really came down to it… Mahomes would be stumbling around the field with his head flailing in the breeze vs. Buffalo.
Bills players collectively agree they will play “really hard” this time against the Chiefs instead of “just having fun”
Buffalo fans were sad in week six when the Bills lost to the Chiefs 26-17 at home. Sean McDermott admitted postgame that his guys “really just tried to go out there and have fun goofing off.”
McDermott explained, “That was the gameplan going in. Don’t worry about the final score just mess around with your buddies and make some memories. I told the guys pregame, ‘We’re on national TV this week guys! It’ll be fun! Make sure you wave high to your mom!'”
That was week six’s mindset. Things have changed since then and McDermott’s tone has as well.
“I told the guys you gotta try this week, and not just a hearty try; I mean a real try. I’ve been told this means a lot to certain people. So yeah, I guess we’ll give it our best go.”
This feels outrageous enough, since it means we’ll go to the Super Bowl. Who would’ve thought that just three short years ago.
Maxwell Underhill (twitter: @cincodemaxo) is a contributor for BuffaloFanatics, blog writer for the in-season “Outrageous Predictions” column, and co-host of the “Buff Bootleg” vidcast streaming every Saturday at 6pm ET on Facebook, YouTube, and Periscope.