Welcome to late August. Anticipation is mounting for football’s return, and sports media begins to do the thing I hate the absolute most: win-loss record predictions for all 32 teams. I get it. People crave content and want to know what the “experts” think will happen. However, I swear every team is capable of going 10-6 any given year. That’s the parody and fickle nature of the NFL. No one has a fucking clue what will happen.
Every fan has done the schedule thing before. Your team could’ve finished in the basement of the league last year. You’ll still go through the schedule and convince yourself the team can piece together 10 wins. Most of the time, you end up guessing embarrassingly wrong, but every year at least one team takes the entire league by storm and throws everyone for a loop.
I’ll admit that it’s fun to predict your team’s record, but for god’s sake be specific with it. I don’t want to hear your stupid ceiling-to-floor range prediction.
“Well, I think the Bills are capable of going 11-5, but they also could falter and only get to 6-10.”
Guess what Gary, 18-out-of-32 teams finished between 6-10 and 11-5 last year (that’s 56%). Your so-called prediction doesn’t say anything interesting. Be specific and be bold. Otherwise, you’re no fun. (Sorry, Gary)*
Alright folks, let’s get to some outrageous Bills season predictions.
*Gary is a fictional character created for the purposes of this column in the interest of getting the author’s point across.
Buffalo Bills 2020-21 win-loss-tie record prediction
With all that being said, I’m going to prove myself as a grade-A hypocrite by giving you my expert, all-knowing, clairvoyant Buffalo Bills win-loss-tie record prediction for the 2020 season:
I’ve officially spoken it into existence. A tie game might be too edgy and different, but I’m rolling with it. I’ve NEVER seen any NFL analyst predict a tie game, despite the fact that there is usually at least one tie in the NFL a season. What gives?
For the first time in league history, SIX Bills wide receivers collect 1,000 yard seasons
It feels like many moons ago when the Buffalo Bills had Kelvin Benjamin, Zay Jones, and Andre Holmes at the top of their depth chart. Right now I can’t be sure if a single one of those three would make the 53 man roster in 2020.
The news out of Bills camp has been glowing for the entire WR unit. And I’m not just referring to the stars at the top like Diggs, Brown, and Beasley.
Fourth round rookie Gabriel Davis legitimately looks like a rising star in the making. Just look at his production in Thursday’s scrimmage. Five catches for 54 yards in the first half ALONE as a rookie. That’s an incredible testament to the faith Allen already has in this kid.
Lighting up scrimmages by himself is enough to make Bills Mafia want to jump through tables, but when you beat all-world cornerback Tre White on a deep route… that’s… that’s the cherry on top.
I mean, rookies don’t just do that to Tre’davious White. The composure Davis has to secure that ball as White is trying to force it out late is simply sensational.
Now let’s get to some of the other guys. Bill’s media continues to be amazed that Isaiah Hodgins is a large human being. He’s made highlight reels with a couple of high point catches in traffic. Duke Williams may always be a practice monster with crazy upside if he can just find a way to put it all together. He won’t go away.
Oh yeah, and the forgotten man Andre Roberts, who is always criminally underappreciated for what he brings to the table. All he did was have the most spectacular layout grab of anyone all camp long.
We might not need running backs this year folks. Just have Josh Allen keep slinging the rock to the guys paid to get open. Start giving away 1K seasons like they’re free cars on Oprah.
Maxwell Underhill is a contributor for Buffalo Fanatics, blog writer for the in-season “Outrageous Predictions” column, and co-host of “Bills Overdue” on the Buffalo Fanatics Podcasting Network