After defeating the Arizona 49ers Monday night, the Buffalo Bills were on Cloud 9…or Cloud 69…or they were 69ing on a cloud… I forget how the saying goes. Either way, the feeling was short-lived.
The following day, a clip of Nick Wright went viral of him voicing his opinion of Josh Allen. In the clip, Wright, a man who looks like he was stung by a bee and his face never fully recovered, states that he thinks the Bills are a good football team and that they would be a “great football team if they had a quarterback I trusted”.
The mountain of adversity that Josh Allen has faced is almost higher than the pile of job offers for Gregg Williams. As if that wasn’t enough, now Allen must face Wright’s comments. Nick Wright is a man with football in his veins. He eats, sleeps, and breathes football. He also fucks them, which he claims has attributed to his football knowledge.
Wright’s opinion also caught head coach Sean McDermott off guard. “I was prepared to go into our team meeting this morning on a real positive note,” said McDermott. “I was still high off our primetime win, and I was going to let the guys know how proud of them I am. But now, I have to go in there and tell them that they’re just ‘a good football team’ because that’s how Nick Wright…” McDermott became too emotional to even finish the sentence.
Bills players said the team meeting was devastating. Quarterback Josh Allen just sat in the corner, dumbfounded. “I thought I was doing pretty well,” said Allen. “I was continuing to improve in many areas of my game. I’m in the MVP discussion. Our team is 9-3. I just don’t know what else to do.”
Other players were at a loss as well. Jerry Hughes, an outspoken critic of social injustice and team captain said, “I can’t even think about that stuff right now. All I can think about is how we have a quarterback that Nick Wright doesn’t trust.”
The feeling has gone up the ranks all the way to general manager Brandon Beane as well. “You know, I hope he can gain Nick’s trust before the beginning of next season, so I know if I should even bother picking up Josh’s fifth-year option,” an honest Beane said. “I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but if Josh doesn’t gain Nick’s trust, then we’ll probably have to draft someone else.”
“I really regret giving Brandon that contract extension now,” said Terry Pegula. “I thought he did well by drafting Josh, being patient, and developing him into the player he is today. But I guess that’s all bullshit now.”
A spokesperson for the Buffalo Bills said that all practices and team meetings were canceled for the day while management figures out what to do. Hopefully, they figure it out soon as the Bills are scheduled to take on the Pittsburgh Steelers this Sunday for Sunday Night Football.