Buffalo Bills: Things We Know This Week

“When it comes to the gas prices, we’re going through an incredible transition that is taking place that, God willing, when it’s over, we’ll be stronger and the world will be stronger and less reliant on fossil fuels when this is over.” – Joe Biden

Pardon me while I regurgitate in my mouth.

“Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.” – George Costanza

In 1994, many people did have the capital to lend money to a friend. It seems like a fairy tail, but once upon a time you could buy a gallon of gas for $1.09 and head off to view a new movie for $4.08. The average house was just over $68,000 in 1994. Choosing to rent would set you back a mere $533/month. I know my rent was $325 per month split with a roommate setting me back $162.50. Very Nice.

“And you know what they call a… a… a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? They call it a Royale with Cheese.” – Vincent (Pulp Fiction)

Vintage 1994: A woman, driving in her car while holding a McDonald’s coffee between her legs, accidently spills some of the hot coffee on herself. Injured with some minor burns, she sues McDonald’s, as if common sense clearly wouldn’t have guided her to safety.

“Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader’s his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that’s what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.” – Dante Hicks (Clerks)

You could pick up a brand new car for barely over $12,000. 1992 ended USA marketing of the $3,999 YUGO in the states, so No-Worries.

“We all do better when we work together. Our differences do matter, but our common humanity matters more.” – Bill Clinton

THE JUICE IS LOOSE

1994 was a year where a family could sit down together and watch the OJ Bronco chase (not his Week 3, 1975 performance with the Buffalo Bills). Domino’s Pizza reported record sales of pizza delivery during the chase.

“In America, you get as much justice as you can afford.” – O.J. Simpson

Every channel tuned in earlier that year to redundant coverage of the Nancy Kerrigan knee smashing tragedy that landed Tonya Harding in prison.

“I always wanted my daddy to be proud.” – Tonya Harding.

2.61% inflation rate in 1994 seemed like a free all-inclusive resort compared to the ridiculous prices we are experiencing now. Putin’s price hikes, my ASS.

“There is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don’t see any other way out. He’s got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.”- Phil Connors, Groundhog Day

Proclaim it Groundhog Day, but North Korea was resisting Nuclear Plant inspections. Imagine that.

“I got you something. It’s called a CD player. It cost me, like, seven hundred bucks, but the sound quality’s outstanding.” – Glenn Guglia (The Wedding Singer)

People still played vinyl records as most people made the change much earlier to cassettes and were in the middle of replacing that collection with Compact Discs.

“We are all now connected by the Internet, like neurons in a giant brain.” – Stephen Hawking

The internet was newer untapped technology that was still a year or more away from exploding heading to the direction we are today. Do you remember JUNO email? Getting kicked off AOL dial up in the middle of tasks? Chat rooms?

“This is an excuse, women, and you’re not the type to have excuses. You need to be taught. I don’t think you’re stupid just ’cause you don’t know anything….You know, I—that didn’t come out right.” – Tim Taylor (Home Improvement)

I just had a flashback of my first portable CD player that sat on my car seat with a cushion to minimize skipping. It plugged in to my cassette adapter that transported my cassette player in to a CD player. Pretty crafty.

101.1 THE PLANET was spinning new wave and alternative retro out of Niagara Falls along with the newer modern rock songs. The grunge movement was in its first couple of years. The long time station 103.3, the Edge, was yet to change call letters and format. 103.3 WPHD followed by The Fox existed exited at that end of the dial for a harder big hair bands rotation.

Radio stations were evolving where alternative music was not so alternative anymore. Radio stations were playing songs like:

PEARL JAM – Better Man
GREEN DAY – Basket Case
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS – Interstate Love Song
BECK – Loser
NINE INCH NAILS – Closer
OFFSPRING – Come Out and Play
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS – Vasoline
SOUNDGARDEN – Black Hole Sun
NIRVANA – About a Girl
COUNTING CROWS – Mr. Jones

MUST SEE TV

The Simpsons was in its fifth season already on Fox in 1994.

TV’s were unbearably heavy and obese. In other words carrying the Big Zenith, RCA or Toshiba in to the basement could have resulted in hospitalization. A chiropractor tune-up at the very least. We wont even get into the big consul TV’s acting as a piece of furniture.

“You don’t own a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at?” – Joey Tribbiani (FRIENDS)

Some of the top shows were: Seinfeld, ER, Home Improvement, Grace Under Fire, NYPD Blue, Murder She Wrote, Friends, Roseanne, Mad About You, Ellen, Frazier, Murphy Brown, Cybill, The Nanny, Full House, and Wings. Very Impressive lineup. Well at least you heard of them. I digress.

Monday Night Football held steady as the number five rated show on all of TV.

“Yeah. The funny thing is – on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.” – Andy Dufresne (The Shawshank Redemption)

What a year at the box office. How could one year produce so many of my favorite all time flix. Pulp Fiction was a must see as well as Shawshank Redemption. CLERKS became a cult classic resulting in many spin offs and sequels.. Forest Gump shocked the world with a script that was long over due. The Crow is priceless with a legendary soundtrack. Let us not forget Ace Ventura and The Mask. The Lion King became an instant classic leading to Broadway shows and a reboot movie.

“Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?” – Lloyd Christmas

What else can I say except DUMB and DUMBER. Yes I said Dumb and Dumber. The Prequal was weak with some funny moments. The sequel did exactly what the intentions were. But nothing will ever touch the humor of Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in this original all time gem.

 “Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.” – Frank Drebin (Naked Gun 33 1/3)

Why the focus on 1994? Well, besides some of the most controversial news stories with all-time classic sit coms, 1994 was the last time the Buffalo Bills appeared in a Super Bowl. Since many of us believe the Bills will represent the AFC at the Big Dance, taking a look back on the year of their last appearance puts things into perspective of the different world we lived in.

“Josh Allen is the best quarterback in the NFL right now, there is no doubt. He is the guy I would take right off the bat. No one is asked to do more for their team, or carry their team more on a weekly basis than Josh Allen.” – Chris Simms

Things we know about the Buffalo Bills this week

Buffalo Bills Training Camp returns to St. John Fisher in Rochester following a two-year hiatus.

Isaiah McKenzie is part of The NFL Players Choir, who auditioned for America’s Got Talent and will move on to the next round. Not too shabby.

The Buffalo Bills added talented tight end OJ Howard to Josh Allen’s tool belt this offseason. Dawson Knox is impressed with his huge size, strength, and route running abilities. Another OJ in Bills Country… Just saying.