Buffalo Bills: Things We Know This Week

“The truth is, YOU’RE the weak, and I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m trying, Ringo. I’m trying real hard to be the shepherd.” – Jules Winnfield (Pulp Fiction)

“The funny thing is, when I was on the outside, I was an honest man…straight as an arrow…I had to come to prison to learn how to be a crook.” – Andy (The Shawshank Redemption)

 “Yeah, right. I bet you twenty bucks I can get you gambling before the end of the day.” – Lloyd Christmas (Dumb & Dumber)

The sun peeks through the clouds of a gray Western New York Winter sky just a scant bit more. Smiles covered by masks seem to be standard. Local political rhetoric appears to recrudesce to the proper political forums. Democrats and Republicans are able to set aside differences. Morning coffee tastes better and augments alertness. Doors are politely held ajar. Snow looks like it does in paintings, not yellow. Your Bar-Bill chicken wings are the exact way you crave. Local radio seems more positive, jokes funnier, and news a tad more upbeat. Your I.P.A. beer tastes better, stronger, and colder. Annoying individuals are more tolerable. Workdays go by rapidly. Fellow drivers are more courteous. Unity is more achievable. Class lectures are intriguing. Classes are like resemble. SCHWABL’S  Beef on weck is cooked to perfection. Uber drivers are amicable. Coronavirus doom and gloom is not on every radio and TV station 24/7. People have more spring in their steps. Everyone manifests kind and gentle. Stealing shamelessly from the so very confused Sweathog, Vinnie Barbarino, “What? Where?” What? Positive outlook and mood. Where? Western New York and Bills Backer locations globally. Who? Bills fans. Why? Winning. Playoffs. Division Champs. Going to the AFC Title game. When? Days following the most recent victory. The upmost of Mondays this season.

I speculate that simply proclaiming ‘Life-Is-Good’ would have been sufficient. I digress…”GIVEN”.

Bills fans of all ages have embraced this year’s team like we haven’t seen since those late 1980’s and early 1990’s Almost-A-Dynasty teams. The enthusiasm and excitement are apparent everywhere. Even with the Virus limiting life’s standard routines, several members of the staff at Harris Hill Elementary School recorded a Bills parody: Josh Allentown. This was accomplished strictly striving for smiles on many faces, once again hidden under said masks. The lyrics were written by Michelle Braun-Burget in a poetic Patti Smith-style put to Billy Joel‘s “Allentown.” Michelle is joined by an All-Star lineup: Colleen Hodgson, Fran Johnson, Sara Magnuszewski, Barb Olson, Mary Schnitter, Julie Tschari, and Kathy Wilk.

Take a listen and you will be singing it all day. For those unable to check out the audio, here are the lyrics for your enjoyment:

“We’re living in Josh Allentown. While the Bills shut all the other teams down. The Ravens are the next in line. Lamar Jackson will be forced to resign. While Stefon Diggs always catches them all .And if not him Beasley handles the ball. Celebrating when they reach their goal. Hoping to dance, dance at the Bowl. We’re living in Josh Allentown. But the restlessness was handed down. And it’s getting very hard to wait. We’re waiting in Josh Allentown. For the Super Bowl ring we never found. And the promises One Bills Drive made. If they played hard, if we behaved. So the Buffalonians standing tall. Hoping that one day we will win it all . No we never forgot what was real, General Mills, Bethlehem steel. We’re living in Josh Allentown. But the restlessness was handed down. And it’s getting very hard to wait. Josh Allen has a pretty good shot To get at least as far as Jim Kelly got. The Bills are playing the best that they can. Although the Pandemic hurt the 12th Man. Hey hey hey wo oh oh… We’re living in Josh Allentown. And it’s hard to keep Bills Mafia down. So we will be cheering ev-ery ga-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ame. Hey, hey, hey And it’s getting pretty hard to wait Cause we’re living in Josh Allentown….”

The last time the Bill’s were in the AFC Championship game ironically was against the Kansas City Chiefs. I’m aging myself announcing I was in attendance at Rich Stadium on January 23, 1994. The Bills won that game against the Marty Schottenheimer coached team 30-13, even with Joe Montana behind center for K.C.

Energize. Quantum Leap to January 1994, in a Doctor Who‘s Police Box style. No defunding please, as I loved the 90’s, but do not desire to be stuck there.

Nancy Kerrigan is attacked by Tonya Harding‘s bodyguard.

“Empire had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader’s his father. Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that’s what life is, a series of down endings. All Jedi had was a bunch of Muppets.” – Dante Hicks (Clerks)

Trial begins for Lorena Bobbitt, who cut off her husband’s … you-know-what. Ouch. Double Ouch. Moving on.

Accused of molesting a 13-year-old boy,  Michael Jackson settles a civil lawsuit out of court. “Why? Why? Don’t tell me that it’s human nature. Why? Why?” modified lyrics by the ‘king of Pop.

Hague motorist with .51% alcohol in blood and breaks the Dutch record, which was .47%. My fraternity brothers would have been so proud.

“Momma always said, life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump

Steve Young of the San Francisco 49ers becomes first quarterback to win three straight NFL passing titles 

Howard Stern has a New Year’s Eve Beauty Pageant on Pay-Per-View. This event was a good wholesome family show for people of all ages. NOT.

BEASTIE BOYS – Sabotage JAMES – Laid CRASH TEST DUMMIES – Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm PAVEMENT – Cut Your Hair BLIND MELON – Tones of Home FLAMING LIPS – She Don’t Use Jelly URGE OVERKILL – Girl You’ll Be a Woman Soon LIVE – Selling The Drama COUNTING CROWS – Mr. Jones PEARL JAM – Better Man GREEN DAY – Basket Case STONE TEMPLE PILOTS – Interstate Love Song BECK – Loser NINE INCH NAILS – Closer
OFFSPRING – Come Out and Play STONE TEMPLE PILOTS – Vasoline
SOUNDGARDEN – Black Hole Sun NIRVANA – About a Girl

Highest Grossing Films: The Lion King, Forest Gump, True Lies, The Mask, Speed, The Flintstones, Dumb & Dumber, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Interview with the Vampire, Clear and Present Danger

Top TV Shows: Seinfeld, ER, Home Improvement, Grace Under Fire, Monday Night Football, 60 Minutes, NYPD Blue, Murder She Wrote, Friends, Roseanne.

“I don’t want my baby’s first words to be ‘How You Doing?’” – Rachel (Friends)

Netscape Navigator released quickly becoming the market leader for browsing the web.

Movie Ticket= $4.08

Gallon of Gasoline= $1.09

After many years, the English Channel is opened joining England to France

“Asante sana. Squash banana. Wewe nugu. Mimi apana.” – Rafiki (Lion King)

OK. OK. The previous movie quote expedited things to the “I digress” juncture.

Things we know about the Buffalo Bills this week:

• Pro Football Writers Association named Bills’ offensive coordinator, Brian Daboll, the Assistant Coach of the Year.
• Pro Football Writers Association also named Bills’ general manager, Brandon Beane, as the Executive of the Year.
• The Chiefs will be hosting a championship game for the third straight season. This is tying the 2002-04 Andy Reid Eagles for the longest streak. Imagine that!

The Bills’ defenders have been vocal about wanting to play against Mahomes. “What’s easy in life, you don’t want it,” Norman said. “If Mahomes is playing, that’s a great thing for us. We’ll be able to show our ability and play one of the top teams, if not the best team… in the league. That’d be great. I think Henne does a great job when he comes in there and being a game manager for those guys. He’s been doing this stuff since he’s been in the league.”

Game On: Mahomes shall play.