Me, I'm the Lonesome Kicker
Extra points, field goals at your service
One might think it comes with glory
You might think different after you listen to my story
The Buffalo Bills have experienced modicum success drafting kickers since they tabbed Pete Gogolak out of Cornell in the AFL draft way back in 1964. Gogolak kicked for Buffalo’s 1964 and 1965 AFL championship seasons and then defected to the NFL New York Football Giants. The Bills have drafted eight kickers since Gogolak, including Tyler Bass.
My helmet is equipped with a tiny face mask What it possibly could protect, I do not know The other guys on the team Like to make fun of my little shoulder pads And also like to hide the special shoe I need to kick in the snow
The Bills did draft South Africa-born kicker Gary Anderson in the seventh round in 1982. He became the NFL’s all-time scoring leader, a record since broken twice. He was penciled in to replace Nick Mike-Mayer as the Bills’ kicker if he showed anything in training camp. Anderson did not make a field goal in pre-season. He had one final opportunity to turn some heads in the final pre-season game against the Detroit Lions. (Buffalo playing Detroit in pre-season…imagine that?) He missed a 31-yard attempt and was cut the very next day.
People think it's so easy To kick a field goal from the 30 yard line They forget to add seven yards for the snap And 10 more 'cause the goal posts are pushed way back In 1974, the uprights were right on the goal line But some of the players were running into them And getting hurt So screw the kicker Who cares about the kicker?
The other kickers drafted by Buffalo never scoring in the regular-season were Dave Marler in the 10th round out of Mississippi State in 1979, Kirk Roach in the fifth round out of Western Carolina in 1988, John Potter in the seventh round from Western Michigan in 2012, and Dustin Hopkins in the sixth round from Florida State, in 2013.
But I kick that ball And I pray it goes straight If it does The coach says "Good job, number 8" He doesn't even know my name is Andre Kristacovitchlalinski, Jr. But that's the life I live The Lonesome Kicker
Steve Christie was the Bills STUD kicker from 1992 through 2000. He was very much a clutch kicker booting the game-winning 32-yard field goal in overtime of the 1992 AFC Wild Card game against the Houston Oilers which became the greatest comeback in NFL history.
Another blocked kick
And everybody blames me
But it was the Left Guard
Who didn't pick up his man
Oh, why can't they see...
Rian Lindell dominated as the kicker in the Queen City for ten seasons beginning in 2003. He is the uttermost accurate long-distance kicker with the highest field goal percentage from 50 yards plus. Lindell also holds the team record for most consecutive point-after attempts made with 186.
In my home country I could have been a minor league soccer player But I came to America Seeking fortune and seeking fame I didn't realize that if I shanked one And blew the point spread Some drunk guys would push me into their hibachi After the game
Scott Norwood was a fan favorite in Bills Country from 1985 through 1991. Even after the famous “wide right” SuperBowl losing miss, fans came downtown by the thousands for a Rally to honor Norwood and his teammates. He has a Pro Bowl (1988) and first-team All-Pro on his resume.
So I go home at night 'Cause I never get invited To go drinking with the other guys And I sit in my chair, and I soak my foot As I eat a plate of cold french fries And my wife's out with her quote-unquote friend And my son can't look me in the eyes But that's the life I live The Lonesome Kicker
Things we know about the Buffalo Bills this week:
Stephen Hauschka, the Bills 35-year-old kicker with a sizable contract, was released this week. He lost the competition fair and square to a rookie. Tyler Bass, a sixth-round draft pick out of Georgia Southern, won the job without any pre-season games or high profile exhibition games. Hauschka was due to make $4.475 million in base salary over the final two years of his contract. The HUGE LEG of Bass shined as he crushed three consecutive attempts from beyond 50 yards during practice, while Hauschka missed all three.
Kicking for you They took my snow shoe They're going for two The Lonesome Kicker