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Buffalo Bills Super Smart Football – Primetime Edition: Week 5

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Welcome to another edition of Super Smart Football! For the third time in a row, I get to write about another Buffalo Bills victory. And not just a victory, but another shellacking. I’ve never used that word before and now I have. Cross that off my bucket list. (Is that the kind of stuff that’s on my bucket list? Holy shit, that’s depressing).

Another Victory. Another Blowout!

For the third week in a row, the Bills have won a football game by three or more touchdowns. The high Bills Mafia is riding is a fun one, but let’s be honest: it’s getting old. It’s not old YET but one more dominant performance and I’m gonna start to feel like I’m watching a Call of Duty: Warzone match between someone who is really good at that game and a bunch of kindergarteners still developing cognitive abilities. Can we make the games a bit more competitive please? Is Phillip Gaines still playing? Let’s get Brian Winters back in the lineup to add some more excitement- oh wait, the o-line has enough problems, sorry.

Josh Allen Loses A Bet

Josh Allen surprised everyone by throwing an interception with his first attempt of the game. He made up for it afterwards but some people had to be wondering what happened. Well, don’t worry Mafia. I’m here to tell you that the reason Josh threw the interception was because he lost a bet. I don’t know to who but if I had to guess… The Devil. Anyway, nothing to worry about. Just a classic “bet-loss-to-The-Devil-so-now-I-have-to-throw-an-interception-on-my-first-throw” situation.

What’s next? The Buffalo Bills travel to Kansas City to face our AFC rivals in the Chiefs. But what’s going on with them?

Rough Start for the Chiefs

That’s right. The Chiefs have had a rough start to the season, currently holding a 2-2 record after four games. The way people are talking about the Chiefs, you would think their head coach was caught drunk at a bar getting his knob grinded on by a pretty blonde who took a couple years off from beauty college to “find herself”. But what could be the reason for this? My guess, based on what smart people are saying…

The Defense Thought Mahomes Could Do No Wrong

Rumblings from the inner workings of the NFL that I am so very intertwined with are saying that the Chiefs’ defense felt like they didn’t have to do anything anymore. They thought they could slack off a bit and Patrick would just make up for their poor play with another no-look completion and a terrible TikTok video of his brother dancing. Turns out that recipe has not been ideal so far.

What a way for the Bills’ and Chiefs’ first meeting since the AFC championship game to go: both offenses pick up where they left off; the Bills defense returns to form; the Chiefs’ defense sucks ass through a straw (I believe that’s called “felching”). It will be a statement game for the Bills for sure.

Thanks for reading. If you enjoy absurdity with your Buffalo Bills football, check out the Process On Tap podcast with myself and my co host Hansel (@UberHansen), which premieres every Saturday on your preferred podcast channel; assuming your preferred podcast channel is Apple, Spotify, or Samsung. (I have no idea where else it posts.) Go Bills!

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