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Bills Rookies as Greggs Pasties



Ever wondered what Greggs pasty the 2021 Bills rookies would be? Well, look no further.

During a recent conversation with a friend, they described Spencer Brown as “about as meaty as a steak bake”. So, the question has to be asked: if the Bills rookies were Greggs pasties, what would they be?

Classic Greggs pasties including four sausage rolls, a steak bake, and a chicken bake. Gregg’s has launched a range of healthier products which have seen an increase in sales due to its popularity with the more health-conscious middle class. (Image courtesy of Georgie Gillard)

For non-Brits, Greggs is a fast-food/bakery chain that specializes in making savory pasties, or bakes, as they’re also known. Now that that’s cleared up, first up:

Tommy Doyle: Sausage, Bean, & Cheese Melt

This is quite possibly the most British food ever, sausage and baked beans in a pasty. It’s tastes exactly how you think it will. This combination is odd, of course, but it seems to work.

Like Tommy Doyle, this pasty isn’t usually the first choice but it never disappoints. His experience at both tackle spots is a desirable quality.

Boogie Basham: Chicken Bake

Pieces of chicken in a creamy sauce. A timeless Greggs classic. As described on the site, “never hogging the limelight, but always there in the background”. Dependable, if you will.

Exactly like Boogie Basham; a consistent starter, who only ever got better. The team can always count on him to give it his all.

Spencer Brown: Steak Bake

This is a pasty filled with diced beef and rich, thick gravy. And that’s it.

I completely agree with my friend’s assessment. Spencer Brown is the definition of meaty, standing at 6’8″ and weighing in at over 300lbs. A huge human being, who apparently still has room to gain additional mass. Exactly the kind of guy you want protecting QB1.

Greg Rousseau: Cheese and Onion Bake

This cheesy bake, simply put, is delicious. If you’re ever in doubt of what to eat, this is the go-to choice.

For some, Greg Rousseau was not a well-received pick. But, personally, I feel this was the way forward for the Bills. His one, very productive year, provides a framework to build on. He was the go-to choice.

Rachad Wildgoose: Sausage Roll

The nation’s favorite. No one, seriously no one, makes a sausage roll like Greggs. Many have tried, but all have failed.

The favorite rookie? Rachad Wildgoose. Waiting for this pick seemed to take a lifetime but the Bills finally drafted their Cornerback. Not the most talented, but is sure to make an impact.

I’m excited to watch these rookies work and see exactly what their presence will do for this emerging team. Also, if you’re ever in the UK, I highly recommend going to a Greggs and trying some of these foods. They’re well worth it.

Much like Marty McFly, Trish Patel (aka Tyler Bass Enthusiast) is a time traveller who stole a sports almanac so as to fool you mortals into believing that she can predict the stats of a game. If you come at her on social media, there is an excellent chance you'll get burnt. They don't call her @savage_trish for nothing.