The Underhill Report: Outrageous Week 3 Predictions

All aboard the Josh Allen hype train. I’ve seen more pundits and analysts hop on in the past week than I’ve seen tables broken at Bills tailgates. What can I say? It almost feels like a fever dream. If you had told me a few weeks ago that Joshua Patrick Allen would lead the NFL in passing yards through 2 weeks, I would kindly ask you to go home, sir. You’re drunk.

It’s not that I didn’t have faith in Allen’s improvement, but I didn’t expect such a drastic skyrocket improvement so soon. Allen didn’t have a 300-yard passing game in his career two weeks ago. He didn’t have a 400-yard passing game in his career one week ago. Check off both those boxes.

As insane as 2020 has been, I genuinely did not have “Josh Allen MVP discussion” on my bingo card. Credit to Pierre aka “The Kingpin” for calling that before anyone else:

So let’s get to week 3, when the Bills welcome the west coast LA Rams to Orchard Park. Without further ado, here are my outrageous week 3 predictions:

Cali boy Jared Goff crumbles in the early fall Buffalo weather

LA’s QB1 has been a So-Cal bro all his life. He’s the definition of chill. Don’t be hatin’.

Lol Jared Goff dressing up as b-rad from Malibu's most wanted :  LosAngelesRams

Goff’s probably been hitting the water and ripping the gnar gnar waves from a young age. It’s the chill lifestyle bro. You wouldn’t understand. I’m not gonna be the one to ruin his vibes, but that 85-degree summer sun doesn’t always travel to Western New York.

As of Thursday, my meteorology background is telling me Buffalo will be around 78 degrees and partly cloudy Sunday afternoon. Pretty damn perfect if you ask most people. However, one has to take into account how sensitive the So-Cal body-temperature regulation system is. The shift of a couple of degrees is all it takes to throw a So-Cal body into turmoil.

I’m sure the Rams coaching staff is prepared to handle this issue. Expect to see a guy with a big winter coat that bundles up Goff every time he comes to the sideline. However, Goff’s biggest struggle will be keeping his hands warm. Ice cold hands will have him throwing ducks all afternoon.

Josh Allen continues his MVP campaign with a 600-yard passing performance

I happen to be a big football analytics guy, and all the numbers are pointing towards an unprecedented day for the Bills quarterback.

If you look at Allen’s performance against Houston in the playoffs last season, he threw for 264 yards on the day. Allen improved upon that in week one of this season by throwing for 312 yards vs the Jets. This past week, we all know Allen exploded for 415 yards through the air. By compiling these statistics and running hundreds of simulations, we are actually able to predict Allen’s passing yards for this upcoming week!

Here are the Buffalo Fanatics Advanced Analytics™ results:

Our simulation tells us Josh Allen is expected to pass for 600 yards vs. the Rams

We’re thinking about launching an analytics-focused division of BuffaloFanatics called “Buffalo Fanatics Focus”. Maybe BFF for short. Sounds pretty catchy if you ask me.

Allen goes out of his way to hurdle Jalen Ramsey Sunday

Josh Allen taking on tacklers is nothing new. But there’s one specific Ram the QB will be seeking out to expose on the field this week. Jalen Ramsey made headlines two years ago by calling Allen “trash” among insulting many other quarterbacks. So far Allen is 1-0 vs. Ramsey since the comments.

I hope we see a hurdle, stiff-arm, truck, or all of the above on Ramsey.


Maxwell Underhill is a contributor for BuffaloFanatics, blog writer for the in-season “Outrageous Predictions” column, and co-host of the “Bills Overdue” vidcast streaming every Saturday at 6pm ET on Facebook, YouTube, and Periscope.

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